What I Learned From You

I wonder is that easy for you to forget someone that had been through a lot  with you?

I wonder is that easy for you to forget all the memories, literally tons of memories of us?

I wonder...do you still think of...me? Us?

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Ever since we broke up, my life is upside down. I forgot how to live without a special someone, without you. It's upside down because I'm not just losing 'a boyfriend'. I know I've lost a partner.

We were a team.

We talked, we laughed, we argued, we dreamed, we did almost everything together. Remember when we were arguing about how many children or the gender of our 'future children'? That was pretty funny hahaha! And I still remember how I got Munchy that small Teddy bear with a red t-shirt that says "i love you"... You got me for our first anniversary and I remember when you gave me Popo that stuffed panda doll at the park near the school, I still remember perfectly. Even when we were doing a long distance relationship I always tell you everything I do, wherever I go, who did I hang out with, everything. I know it's not like you're gonna get jealous and freak out. I know you're not that kind of guy, but I just wanna tell you so that you'll know I was being a good girl hahaha...

And to be honest, if I have to make a ratio of happiness vs sadness when we were together, it'll be 80:20. I was quite a happy girl.😁

During our time together, I learned so much. I learned to suck everything up when I argue with my parents or sister. I learned to love myself (because you hate it when I'm self-conscious about my body), I learned to love someone entirely, I learned to take care of myself (like eating properly and on time), and of course...I learned to be mature when taking care of my problems. And for that, I thank you.

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And from you, I learned that there is no forever. I learned that some dreams are meant to be just a dream. I learned that love can die eventually from lack of physical touch or communication. I also learned that...there is no point in keeping a relationship if it's only one person that puts up so much efforts in. And for that, I also thank you.

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I wish you nothing but the best.

Oh and I also learned that if I really love someone I must let them go and let them be happy without me, even though I am here trying to be strong and faking a smile and in so much pain. So much that I can even feel a physical pain, not just an emotional pain.

Thank you. I learned many things. Now good luck reaching your dreams, find your happiness, do what you think best. I will look at you from the distance and pray for your best.